Seeing the live size photo of our marriage hanging on the wall of our bedroom, standing asides each other and his jolly hockey sticks grin , me trying to smile but could not due to heavy makeup, heavy lengha and lights , my parents spend their hard earn money on the marriage which according to me would not have last even a month, not because he is a bad guy because I loved someone but that someone at the time of commitment gave me nonsense of good job, big bucks salary; basically he had commitment phobia which I came to know when my parents were seriously in search of a groom and I told him to meet my parents for our marriage and he left the city the very day.
What a looser he was and what a biggest loser I was that could not handle the betrayal of my boyfriend, so I accepted this marriage proposal assuming that everyone has to marry some day so what’s the big deal in this; but I forgot its marriage a commitment for life. I have to see this man, serve him, ignore his bad habits, adjust with his family and aaha! Love him. Here comes the twist for which I wasn’t ready.
We got married and it was final that I have to leave my parents abode and settle down with this man for the entire life. I was crying partially due to emotions for my parents and partially due to headache. Well the entire journey from my place to his place lasted for 30 min, the whole house was lit up, relatives were standing outside to receive us, the kids were making noise and I was getting irritated with all this, the soon I wanted this to end the more time it was taking. The auntie’s of the world surrounded me and were scanning me from top to bottom, pretending to say things in each other ears but it sounds loud and clear to me, some said “the lengha is not heavy, my daughters lengha was heavier than this” some said “even the jewellery is not according to the trend must be her mother’s old jewellery” then in the midst of all this a kind hearted women came to my rescue and said “be quite, she is very beautiful and now she is my daughter in law, come lets go to your room” I was so happy, alas! I can sleep now.
The moment the bedroom door open, I wished I was sitting in the drawing room and listening to the bitching of the entire auntie’s. Why with me God? The room was decorated with roses and jasmine. If I would have accepted this marriage and my husband with all my heart then this would have been a pleasant surprise but this is a mockery of my emotions done by my own hands. How could I give myself this punishment? Not for once I thought that marriage is also surrendering yourself. She left me in the room and close the door, I was so petrified and in all haste I started removing my hairdo, open my bags and quickly changed into a night gown and before he came I slept.
Next morning when I woke up I saw him sleeping beside me in his shervani, I slowly got down from the bed but the sound of my anklets and bangles disturbed his sleep. He quickly got up and asked me “do you want something”
before he asks something else I said no and went to the washroom. I spend 30 min in the bathroom thinking what should I do next, how did I forgot that marriage also means sex and I can’t allow him to touch me as I don’t love him I don’t even accept him as my husband. When I came out the tea was kept on the table. He served me tea and before he ask me anything I myself said “I was not well that’s why I slept”
he sipped the tea and asked “how are you feeling now, if you require medicine I will bring for you”
I just nod to his question and smile back to him. For hours we were locked in the same room, first he freshens up and then me, we didn’t talk to each other except the prerequisite. We went outside and the moment we step out of the room all the auntie’s again “how was the night Mr. Groom” trying to find some kind of bites and suddenly the kind hearted women the one who saved me last night, my mother in law came to me and made us sit on the dining table; served breakfast and said “Priya (that’s me) don’t mind what all they are saying, they are just pulling your leg”
I smiled back to her and quickly finish my breakfast.
The day passed by knowing all the relatives and talking to the sweet kids, the marriage is such a tiring thing that how much sleep you get is not enough. Anyways while I was going back to my room, he came running behind me and handed me honeymoon tickets. He was so happy and so unhappy I was but I didn’t say a word and went back to the room, leaving him alone in the lobby area. The night after dinner, we both were in our room sitting far from each other on the bed decorated with flowers. He stood up and sat near me; I also sat straight and was avoiding his sight.
He holds my hands and asked “were this marriage proposal was forced on you”